Composed in February of 2023 after a commission by Perry Mears for his March 2023 recital in Memphis, Tennessee, "Where Light Doesn't Shine" is the first step away from the tonal minimalist groove my style has been defined by up to this point. At the time of writing, this period is the first time having real deadlines and commissions for composing at all. Multiple works for various performers and instrumentations were expected to be pumped out one after the other for weeks on end, when I used to take months off from writing in between each project. There is a level of stress that has not been present until writing this work and "What Do I Do?" (2023) were composed, so I hope this desperation comes across in the piece.

In composition lessons with Kamran Ince, the main topic has been to push my style away from what it has been and try something brand new: something uncomfortable and difficult to compose, something that feels wrong at first. In order to truly create a unique sound as a composer and have more tricks up my sleeve, I need to break into new realms of music making. Creating music that is more atonal focused around dissonant chords, aleatoric motion, and a lack of a constant drive have been some of these uncomfortable concepts for my compositional language. It seems every piece I have written for nearly 2 years is some variation of my whimsical groovy language.

This work embodies a more broody and impatient side of me. When reviewing the piece and sharing with others to search for an appropriate title, the theme of darkness was recognized multiple times. "Where Light Doesn't Shine" is not meant to provide hope, happiness, or positivity. There are fits of real anger portrayed with chaotic random motion growing from nothing at multiple times throughout the work. A mix of minor, major, and diminished chords intertwine to create strange polychords. There is never a real sense of relief; the final chords could be seen as bittersweet, but they do not leave a listener content. All throughout, the performer has a lot of performative freedom on how to bring out the darkness looming over the piece.

I am not sure if most audience members will enjoy this work or see it as one of my better pieces in my repertoire, but it was a difficult, yet important, step to take for the future of my composing. The textures and aura surrounding the work highlight a side of my writing previously unknown.

Light does not shine where we are going...