"What Do I Do?" was the first of three back to back commissioned works I had to write at the start of 2023. This piece was being produced in anticipation of my friend, Becca Tank, having her junior undergraduate recital at the University of Memphis in April of 2023.

Until this work, I have never experienced a deadline for my composing. Every work was something I chose to write when I decided, but this work (along with two other pieces) required me to be finished in February of 2023. On top of this, it was being written for a player I regularly gawk at for their talent and skill. I really wanted this to be my best chamber work ever to live up to Becca's playing. There were months of sketches, listening to saxophone chamber music of all kinds, communication with Becca on what she was capable of, a scrapped piece, and ambitions to possibly use electronics.

I was beginning to feel overwhelmed by the looming deadline date. Progress was not being made and no ideas were sticking. My composition teacher at the University of Memphis, Kamran Ince, has been pushing for me to experiment withing different styles of my music. Every piece I have composed so far has the same pattern of groove, constant energy, and happy tonalities. In his opinion, I have taken this type of music to the furthest stretches and truly understand how to write it, but I need to make myself uncomfortable by trying to compose in new styles. For every lesson, I have tried to bring in something I think will finally impress him or proove to him I am changing, but the only results happening were baby steps.

The weight of everything surrounding the "hype" of this work made for an overwhelming experience of writing. Usually, I struggle with naming my music, but I constantly found myself asking "What do I even do?" when writing this work. So, the name "What Do I Do?" was perfect for this work of uncertainties. At no point until the end did I feel confident it was going to be a work I was proud of. After months of deliberating, studying, and time off from composing, I knew I had to just sit down and write it.

This work holds a special blend of my normal sense of groovy minimalism, but sees the incorporation of atonal harmonies and longer melodic lines than I have experimented with in the past. I wanted to take advantage of extended techniques that would be fun for a player, working directly into the flow of the music. Now that it has been written, "What Do I Do?" is a work I am truly proud to share with the world. Other than "Desert Tales," it represents a deeper personal meaning than anything I have composed to this point. The stress and uncertainties of composing are becoming underlying themes in my music...

Thank you, and please enjoy "What Do I Do?"